My mother says I was ‘born sensible.’ The phrase came to mind when I was reviewing my proposals for the Unit 1 Assessment exhibition: it’s all about recording, ordering, containment; it has projects; it has a book and boxes: it has labels. All the things you might expect from me.
That isn’t to say that what I’ve done in Unit 1 is ‘more of the same’. A book wrapped in wax-dipped fabric; an animation of over 40 drawings of one space; a film; drawing inside a frame – these are all new ways of working and capturing what I’m seeing and thinking. And the reading and research I’ve done since I started college have changed how I think about my own motivations, what I want to achieve and how I might do it.
But still … I feel dissatisfied.
I recognise this process and this stage of the process from past experience, especially with textile pieces. This is the stage at which I often look at a piece and think it’s over-thought and over-worked. Then what I need to do is cast it aside and using what I’ve learned, just make another piece without thinking too much.
So I’m comforting myself with the thought that this is just a stage I have to go through.
My husband remarked the other day that what he wanted to see was ‘what it feels like to be Su.’ I think I’ve captured something of that, but perhaps my work so far is more like ‘seeing what I see or thinking what I think’, not so much about ‘feeling what I feel.’ In a tutorial last week with Tania Kovats about preparing for the Unit 1 assessment, we talked about the long-exposure photographs I took and what I want to do with them. This feels like a starting-point for new and freer explorations.
Not exactly ‘born to be wild’ but perhaps ‘born to be a bit less sensible’.